Women Love Jamie Because He Talks In Bed…why yes,…he does and why yes,…I do




I’ve been re-reading The Fiery Cross by Diana Gabaldon and I forgot how many of my favorite scenes were in this book!  I think I forget because the focus when people talk about The Fiery Cross is usually about the pages (and more pages) devoted to the gathering  that I jokingly (and affectionately) call the longest day ever written.  To tell the truth, it was a bit of a slough the first time I read it, but true to almost everything Diana has written, over time, I have grown to appreciate those chapters more and more.  She has become my favorite writer and as a person who fancies herself a writer, I’m always eager to read anything about Diana’s writing process or  what she thinks about her own characters.  I want a keek at her brain!  So, I was thrilled when I recently got a delightful glimpse into her thoughts about her well beloved character James Alexander Malcolm Mackenzie Fraser… who talks in bed.  

Erin Conrad, of Three If By Space, tweeted from an EW fan convention that Diana, responding to a fan question, said the reason women love Jamie is “because he talks in bed”.  I giggle-snorted when I read this and then thought, “Why yes,..yes, he does and it is definitely swoon worthy”. In fact, some of my favorite  Jamie moments are found in their bed.  

There has been a lot of discussion in the fandom about what we hope to see in season 3 of Outlander on Starz.  One of the biggest things fans hope to see is more time in bed with Jamie and Claire.  Some want to see them make love because let’s face it , Diana wrote some fantastic love scenes and as one of my readers put it, “I’m not paying Starz to use my imagination!” Yep. Another reason some fans lament the lack of sex in season 2 is that they miss the communication that happens when those two are in bed together. Sex is an integral part of how they communicate with each other, it is often how they connect when words just aren’t sufficient or there are no words. However, the things Jamie does say in bed…sigh…are funny, playful, moving, tender words that really could move a heart to love him.

I tried to think of my favorite moments and to tell the truth it just isn’t possible!  Each time I would think I’d narrowed my choice down another heart warming or pounding moment would leap to mind.  From Outlander to Written in My Heart’s Own Blood, the relationship between the two is both revealed and shaped in their bed and choosing a favorite seems impossible because each moment is a part of the whole, each moment important.

During their honeymoon, Claire muses about finding herself  the sexually experienced one in the relationship and thinks “…there are in fact only a limited number of ways in which two bodies can meet, and we had not yet established that territory of intimacy in which the act of love takes infinite variety.” Diana has always maintained that writing a good sex scene isn’t about the exchange of body fluids, but about the emotional connection.  Jamie and Claire’s sex life moves into the territory of “infinite variety”  because of what is said in their bed and each “coming together” becomes unique and important.  It is the words that are said between the two that make the physical act meaningful.  When Jamie and  Claire are in bed it is as if the world goes away and he speaks to her as we all wish our men would speak to us, open and vulnerable because they trust us to be gentle with their hearts.


IMG_0427Many of the moments in Jamie and Claire’s bed are funny; what animals have you seen, hedgehogs, and the King of Ireland come to mind.  When Claire returns to him in Voyager the importance of these moments becomes clear when Jamie tells Claire he never thought he would laugh in a woman’s bed again.  Being able to laugh together in bed is rare gift of intimacy and comfortableness.

“Aye, well,” he said. “I dinna recall Adam’s asking God to take back Eve—and look what she did to him.” He leaned forward and kissed my forehead as I laughed, then drew the blanket up over my bare shoulders. “Go to sleep, my wee rib. I shall be needin’ a helpmeet in the morning.”

OUTLANDER Chapter 36:

Their laughter often makes me as teary eyed as their more serious moments.  But, the serious moments are so revealing and represent the many different levels of intimacy.









One of my favorite things about Jamie is his gratefulness and I’m always moved by his expressions of gratitude for what God has given him and that most certainly includes  his relationship with Claire.

 “And yet”—he turned me toward him, hand closing gently over one breast—“yet when I think of you wi’ my child at your breast….then I feel as though I’ve gone hollow as a soap bubble, and perhaps I shall burst with joy.”
He pressed me tight against his chest, and I hugged him with all my might.
“Oh, Claire, ye do break my heart wi’ loving you.”



does-it-stop“Does it ever stop? The wanting you?” “Even when I’ve just left ye, I want you so much my chest feels tight and my fingers ache with wanting to touch ye again.”  OUTLANDER, Chapter 17

I loved this scene because of the awe and wonder he expresses.  To me this is the moment when he begins to understand that sex is more than the physical act.  Every woman wants to hear that a man cannot stop feeling desire for her and that he aches for her.


master“Not yet. We’ve time. And I mean to hear ye groan like that again. And to moan and sob, even though you dinna wish to, for ye canna help it. I mean to make you sigh as though your heart would break, and scream with the wanting, and at last to cry out in my arms, and I shall know that I’ve served ye well.”       OUTLANDER, Chapter 41

This scene signaled that Jamie has come into his own as a lover and that Claire is no longer the teacher and he the pupil. He has become aware that he has the power to make her feel and he revels in it. She, I’m sure, revels in his power, as well. Take charge Jamie is hot.



Jamie is a very emotionally mature man, a man who takes ownership of his perceived failings. His honesty is startling and endearing and gives Claire permission to reveal her own confusion and weaknesses.  He makes her feel emotionally safe with his openess.

“I always thought it would be a simple matter to lie wi’ a woman,” he said softly. “And yet… I want to fall on my face at your feet and worship you”-he dropped the towel, and reached out, taking me by the shoulders-“and still I want to force you to your knees before me, and hold ye there wi’ my hands tangled in your hair, and your mouth at my service… and I want both things at the same time, Sassenach.” He ran his hands up under my hair and gripped my face between them, hard. “I dinna understand myself at all, Sassenach! Or maybe I do.”  DRAGONFLY IN AMBER Chapter 17



 “All right,” he whispered. His eyes bored into mine, daring me to close them, forcing me to hold his gaze. “All right. And ye wish it, I shall punish you.” He moved his hips against me in imperious command, and I felt my legs open for him, my gates thrown wide to welcome ravishment.
“Never,” he whispered to me. “Never. Never another but me! Look at me! Tell me! Look at me, Claire!” He moved in me, strongly, and I moaned and would have turned my head, but he held my face between his hands, forcing me to meet his eyes, to see his wide, sweet mouth, twisted in pain.
“Never,” he said, more softly. “For you are mine. My wife, my heart, my soul.”

Outlander chapt.29- 

Sometimes jealousy is okay and sexy.  Who wouldn’t want to be this man’s wife, heart, and soul?



I’ve often told my husband those moments when he is gentle are extremely meaningful to me.  When he looks tenderly into my eyes and touches my face gently with his big hands, I feel cherished.  Jamie has so many of those moments when his gentleness lets Claire know she is cherished. This scene when she wakes and finds he is watching her sleep and murmuring his love to her makes me tearful everytime.

“What is it, love?” I whispered. “Jamie, I do love you.”
“I know it,” he said quietly. “I do know it, my own. Let me tell ye in your sleep how much I love you. For there’s no so much I can be saying to ye while ye wake, but the same poor words, again and again. While ye sleep in my arms, I can say things to ye that would be daft and silly waking, and your dreams will know the truth of them. Go back to sleep, mo duinne.”
I turned my head, enough that my lips brushed the base of his throat, where his pulse beat slow beneath the small three-cornered scar. Then I laid my head upon his chest and gave my dreams up to his keeping.                                                                    OUTLANDER CHAPT 45



Every woman wants to find a mutually passionate relationship.  She hopes to find someone she feels free to love with all her heart . Jamie’s ability to express his love for Claire is nothing short of poetic.

“I was dead, my Sassenach–and yet all that time, I loved you.”

I closed my eyes, feeling the tickle of the grass on my lips, light as the touch of sun and air.

“I loved you, too,” I whispered. “I always will.”

The grass fell away. Eyes still closed, I felt him lean toward me, and his mouth on mine, warm as sun, light as air.

“So long as my body lives, and yours–we are one flesh,” he whispered. His fingers touched me, hair and chin and neck and breast, and I breathed his breath and felt him solid under my hand. Then I lay with my head on his shoulder, the strength of him supporting me, the words deep and soft in his chest.

“And when my body shall cease, my soul will still be yours. Claire–I swear by my hope of heaven, I will not be parted from you.”

 DRUMS OF AUTUMN, chapter 16

Jamie has raised talking in bed to an art form and we readers find ourselves appreciating his talent…a lot. I know that Jamie is a fictional man and perhaps ideal, but I can’t help but believe that real men could learn a thing or two about talking in bed from him.   Diana has created a man who makes us love pillow talk and him.


54 thoughts on “Women Love Jamie Because He Talks In Bed…why yes,…he does and why yes,…I do

  1. Jodi

    Their love life is captivating because it’s so mutual & consensual…not bodice ripping.. and that they continually flirt, seduce, play, rediscover one another. And it shows marital sex isn’t boring or routine, when approached as a unifier in their relationship. Security, trust, are very sexy in longterm relationships. Did you read Diana’s book on writing sex scenes? That’s on my Christmas list, lol.

  2. Glenna FitzGibbons

    I agree Beth.
    Jamie could teach men a lot about women, relationships and the value of pillow talk. How to love honor and cherish, truly.

    Outlander should be required reading by both men and women. LOL

  3. fanfan1152@aol.com

    Thank you for this blog, I have the kindle version of the books and now I’m reading the Fiery Cross a lot of these passages about Claire and Jamie I don;t remembered and I thank you for the post. Do you have the books? I wonder if the kindle is downsized and does not have all the chapters? What do you think? Well is you get a chance to answer I would appreciate it. Thank you Beth . Francine

  4. Susanna22

    This is the power of Outlander! All the words DG has written come down to the joyful and intense intimacy of Jamie and Claire which draws us in so powerfully that there’s no escaping it. DG has captured our hearts. I haven’t felt so drawn in by any other books this way and I think I never will. And there’s no explaining it to people who have not read the books but for those who have…well words are not necessary. My heartfelt thanks to Diana.

  5. Nancy Craig

    Perhaps DG needs to write a primer for our husbands/partners so they might improve their techniques. It couldn’t hurt if couples read it together. It isn’t exactly a “how to” we need, but more a how to make it better for both people. There’s probably many books like that already available, but none have Jamie as the prime example.

  6. Nancy

    Lovely – all of it! I’ve read the books a couple of times over and there are so many favorite bits throughout. But every time I read one of the books, there is ALWAYS something new to reflect on. I wonder if Dianna knows just how big of an impact she has made on so many of us – in so many ways. Surely sexual situations which we adore – but family, friends, neighbors, travel, home, happiness, sadness, etc. She has captured the essence of everything we need and want and feel (including time travel LOL). I know a lot of good books do that, but Dianna’s happen to do it best! Thanks again, Beth, for always having the right words.

  7. Beth, “a person who fancies herself a writer” you truly ARE!

    Each of your blogs are thought-provoking and well-written! I’m pleased to see you continuing with your analysis of why fans love the books, show and especially, the characters of Outlander. Your articles help satisfy my curiosity about how and why Outlander has captivated me, and so many others.

    I do hope Starz is paying attention re: bed scenes for S3. What I missed in S2 was not the sex but the intimacy between this couple; you have provided numerous emotive examples of what those scenes mean in the development of a loving relationship.

    Please keep writing!

  8. Candace Wishon

    First of all, this is one of the nicest commentaries you have ever written. Breaking down each “bed Jamie” and reminding us of why we love him,even though he is a fictional character.
    Second of all, I am married to a Jamie, and was married to him be or I ever knew about Outlander. And I can tell you- every word that you said is true. And if he’s a real Jamie, that NEVER changes.

  9. Wow, Beth! I will bookmark this post to have a convenient place to revisit some of my favorite scenes. The combination of your insightful analysis with Diana’s words is a treasure to cherish. Thank you.

  10. Helen Miller Pharris

    Thank you for writing this. This is what I love most about Outlander. I have all the books on Kindle and when I come across some of these I highlight them so they are easy to find when I need a “pick-me-up”. I wonder how much of this is influenced by Diana’s husband. I get the impression that he is the perfect Jamie!

  11. Jill Clements-Kennedy

    Hi Beth,

    Thank you sooo much for your article.
    It was magical to read.

    You are a brilliant writer and like you,
    We talk in bed, and my husband is a Scot…..!

    Jill, from Australia.

    Sent by carrier pigeon.

  12. Janet Howe

    I loved your insights in this post. I am currently rereading the series after reading it several years ago. I am struck even more by Diana’s use of language and Jamie’s open-hearted character. She has created a man who shows that men don’t have to be the strong silent type to be strong. Strength is conveyed through emotional openness as much as by more conventional male behavior.

  13. Marty

    So glad to see another post from you, Beth, and such a special one. I so appreciate your bringing all of these great scenes to mind again. I alway enjoy your writing and insights!

  14. Linda Wheeler

    Thank you Beth for thoughts on intimacy and trust. DG reminds her readers to embrace life by using Claire and Jamie as an example of “love is a beautiful thing”. I look forward to more of your posts.

  15. Thank you Beth – reading your words on Jamie’s bed talk and undying love and everything else just leaves one breathless and wanting a man to possess even 1/10th of Jamie’s qualities. I loved reading your posts as they so perfectly capture the essence of DG’s characters and answer in our minds why we are so drawn to her books. Yes she is a woman and yes she knows what women want, but as we know it is much more than that!.

    For those, like me who don’t have that man at home, it is comforting to read the words through her fictional characters and allow the imagination to wander and live in hope that one day, that man with the means to connect on that level will come into my life! Ahhhh the mind is a wonderful thing.

    And I love reading all the comments above.

  16. Cheryl Bremson

    Love reading your wonderful blogs especially this one. One of my favorite Jamie moments is in MOBY towards the end of the book when they are about to make love and there isn’t much time. Not going to quote exactly unless you want me to as some may not have read MOBY yet. It is in my top 5 Jamie book quotes. Also here’s my 2 cents about MOBY: It is very complex….like a fine wine to savor. For Revolutionary War buffs it’s a standout! I’m a history major and I learned a lot. I looked at the War in a whole new way. And the character development is a marvel…..young Ian, Jenny, Lord Grey….I really understand much more about how and why it takes DG so long to write these novels. Anyway,
    Happy Holidays everyone!

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