I just had a fan ask if I could write something to soothe her heart. She said she had been crying over the drama in the fandom. I’m touched she thought of me, but I really couldn’t think of anything I could say that wouldn’t add to problem. I tried once and this apology was the result. It’s a slippery slope. You start with good intentions, but we all know where that can lead.
I went in search of a positive article I could repost. Something from happier days and found this. Let me preface this by saying the behavior I was addressing had nothing to do with the current situation in the fandom, but after reading I thought the lesson I learned was a good one.
I spent quite a few hours Sunday morning feverishly writing my version of a combined rebuttal and comeuppance to what I saw as some truly bad behavior. After reading my 1600 words citing examples, research and pleas to common sense and being pleased with myself, I hit publish. I immediately regretted it. I sat with my feelings for a few hours while I fielded responses, all respectfully agreeing or disagreeing which was after all my point. It’s okay to not think like someone else just have a little couth while you’re doing it! So, why did I feel so crappy about publishing those thoughts? I’m writing this in effort to examine why after spending hours writing, receiving mostly positive responses, I put the whole thing in the trash.
My first thoughts were that I was preaching to the choir. The behavior I was trying to address was so blatantly rude, no one could have failed to recognize it. And, those who recognized it and applauded are not going to be influenced by my pleas for common sense and courtesy.
So, what the hell was I trying to do?
My second thoughts were about my own hubris. I’m not an expert on human behavior or literary analysis. I need to stay in my lane.
Then the blues came. WTF!? Ultimately, I decided I had gotten off track and was behaving badly myself and that makes me sad.
So, if you read me, I’m sorry. I know a lot of you get email notifications when I publish. You probably clicked a link and got a page that said the article couldn’t be found. I feel bad about that, but when it comes right down to it, I don’t want to add to or exacerbate what I see as an unsolvable issue. Eventually, my good intentions, at least I think I had good intentions, but maybe I’m fooling myself, would have been used as fodder for more crap. I’d rather spend my time and whatever currency I have on things that matter, truly interest me, or bring me joy. So, I’m taking my own advice and picking my battles more carefully.
A few moments ago, I received a lovely message that helped me gain a bit of perspective and I appreciate your reading my stuff and taking the time to write. One of the best things about writing a blog is getting to hear from some truly lovely, caring folks. We all make mistakes and I’m planning on learning from this one.
I love this fandom. I have met and spoke to so many whose lives have been enriched by this community. I feel sorry for those who have been caught up in the drama. This was once a fun place to laugh and share a common love of Outlander. If all it is bringing you is anger and grief then maybe you need to decide if the battle is worth the pain. I believe there are an ocean of fans who still want it to be that kind of place where we come together to share a joy of all things Outlander and won’t participate in the ugliness or give it a platform. Find some like-minded folks and laugh and get excited for the next episode.