Note: I wrote this awhile ago as a therapeutic tool and I did not intend to publish, but since then I’ve seen more and more incidents of personal attacks.  This was my effort to put things in perspective.  

Just spoke with a fellow Outlander fan who got personally attacked on Twitter.  The attacker tried to cover their tracks by deleting, but too late the damage was already done.  (And they forgot that people get email notifications) Been there recently too.  Drama and insecurity seem to be on the rise in our fandom. I guess some people just can’t get enough attention or handle if someone else does. I just don’t understand why people need to be so hard on each other.  Let me preface this by saying I’m not a saint, but I’m devastated if I think I’ve hurt someone however unintentional. To deliberately lie about someone? Unimaginable.

I’d rather get hurt.

Yep…but here’s the rub…getting hurt doesn’t feel very good.  I always look back after having gotten whacked in the face and realize I should have seen it coming.  There are always red flags with disingenuous people.  But, more times than not, I appear to be color blind in the olde flag waving department. I just can’t seem to wrap my head around why people play head games.  I guess I’m just not sure what the pay-off is? If you have to manipulate, lie or be someone you’re not to get friends, attention, fame, etc., what is it you think you have achieved?  What is it that people tell themselves to rationalize and make things okay?  Obtaining desires at the cost of mistreating or using others makes no sense to me. Whatever you’ve gained …it isn’t real or at the very least doesn’t last.

Without a base of genuine, whatever house you’ve built yourself will crumble.  I’ve witnessed people frantically scrambling to patch up the holes and ragged edges in said house.  Seems like an awful lot of effort for…nothing. I’ve heard it said and I believe that people are quick to see their own faults in others.  Maybe the opposite is also true and maybe that’s why I never see it coming. I wouldn’t do it, so, I think others wouldn’t.  As a result, maybe I’m not so quick to recognize a false friend. Maybe I’m the poster child for naïveté.  Maybe…I’m okay with that.

Having admitted to having a shocking lack of a suspicious nature, let me also admit to learning to be, if not suspicious, at least more cautious in this world of online social interaction. My DH insists that I have no idea who I’m talking to, “people can pretend to be whomever they want to be on there”.  After being on the receiving end of a pretender’s maliciousness, I’ll have to admit he has a point.  But, I also know that I’ve “met” some remarkable people with shared interests and individual talents.  I wouldn’t have wanted to miss knowing them by being afraid of getting hurt.  So, I guess I’m back to my main point….I’d rather get hurt.  But, I’ve grown to believe that it’s okay to be cautious and guard your heart a bit.

And to my friend who felt attacked…When my students are faced with people who choose to lie, gossip or attack, I always tell them to consider the source, ask yourself how much their opinion really matters and then continue to be yourself.  The best revenge is living well or in my case …writing well.